Can AI edit your novel?
- G R Matthews
- Apr 6
- 9 min read
No. It is that simple.
Blog post done. OK. There's more. I can't leave it there, so I conducted an experiment this morning after a sleepless night.
I'd made the mistake of looking on Reddit about editing work, being a freelancer, and the impact of AI on this field of work. Some folks out there in Reddit-Land (a land of screens, keyboards, and opinions that are not afraid to be shared... and some that really shouldn't be) believe that AI can line edit your novel into a finely honed piece of prose that will WOW fans of Lawrence, Martin, Sanderson, Mass, Pratchett, Wurts, Smith and Matthews (I wish).
What did I start with?
I started with a first draft of one of my own books. This one is unpublished and may never see the light of day, so it makes for a good place to start. It is also something I wrote nearly three years ago, so it'll be gone from my mind, and I can approach it with fresh eyes.
DRAFT ONE - HALDAN
Echoes crashed against his skull, driving the sharp nails of the fear deep into Haldan’s brain.
There was nowhere to run to. The door to the cell was locked and the darkness swallowed his sight. His eyes were open, he could feel himself blink, but they saw, if such a word would apply to the this, an all-encompassing void
There was nothing to do but cover his head with his arms and hope it ended soon. Two days already and only when the castle fell, and all the defenders were dead or fled would it stop. Another crash, another echo.
There was little point in prayer, though he heard the others who shared the cell mutter pleas to their Gods. Nothing would change, but perhaps it made them felt better, gave them the hope that their prayers would be answered.
Maybe they prayed to stay live, or prayed for it all to be over. The best ending would be a complete death. A death where their whole body would be consumed by fire, mangled beyond all use, or trapped beneath so much rubble that it would be a waste of energy to retrieve them. Though, with an army of Risen, energy and the hands to drag the rocks away would not be in short supply.
OK. Before you say it, I will. It is far from perfect, but as a first draft, getting the scene and story down and introducing some key ideas (Gods not answering prayers and some things called 'Risen' who seem numerous and scary) it does its job. There are too many 'he was', 'he felt', and such. A first draft is often me telling the story, and the second draft becomes much more showing the story, and by draft seven or eight, it's ready to be shared.
What I wanted from this experiment was to take this first draft and see what three AIs (LLM) would do with it. Could they line edit this extract and improve it? Was I, at the start of my editing career, out of a job already?
I choose the AIs I hear talked about the most: ChatGPT, Gemini, and Claude.
I gave them the same prompt:
"Here is the beginning of a fantasy book. I want you to line edit it, give me explanations of why, and make it better." Not the most in-depth prompt, but I wanted something simple and repeatable.
ChatGPT
Echoes crashed against his skull, driving the sharp nails of fear deep into Haldan’s brain.
There was nowhere to run. The door to the cell was locked, and the darkness swallowed his sight. His eyes were open—he could feel himself blink—but they saw, if such a word could apply, only an all-encompassing void.
There was nothing to do but cover his head with his arms and hope it ended soon. Two days already, and only when the castle fell—when all the defenders were dead or fled—would it stop. Another crash, another echo.
There was little point in prayer, though he heard the others who shared the cell mutter pleas to their gods. Nothing would change, but perhaps it made them feel better, gave them the hope that their prayers would be answered.
Maybe they prayed to stay alive, or prayed for it all to be over. The best ending would be complete death—a death where their bodies would be consumed by fire, mangled beyond all use, or buried beneath so much rubble that it would be a waste of energy to retrieve them. Though, with an army of Risen, energy—and the hands to drag the rocks away—would not be in short supply.
There is no denying that ChatGPT loves an em dash, or a thousand. It kept the first line and much of the text. Small changes here and there, mostly em dashes, corrected some punctuation and spellings.
However, there are no big changes, and all those parts that are telling the reader things are still there. I am not getting an increased sense of fear or desperation. Everything is a little flat, and at the beginning of the book, that's not what I, or any reader, want. We also dip out of Haldan's immediate viewpoint when considering the others in the cell.
Is it better? Yes, in terms of spelling and punctuation, but that's about it. What do you think of ChatGPT's edit?
GEMINI
Echoes hammered his skull, driving the sharp nails of fear deep into Haldan’s brain.
There was nowhere to run. The cell door was locked and the darkness had swallowed his sight. His eyes were open—he could feel the scrape of his lashes—but they met only an all-encompassing void.
He covered his head with his arms and prayed for the end. Two days already. It would only stop when the castle fell, when the defenders were dead or fled. Another crash, another echo.
Prayer was useless, though the others sharing the cell muttered pleas to their gods. Nothing would change, but perhaps the ritual made them feel better, offered the fleeting hope of an answer.
Maybe they prayed for life, or for the mercy of the end. The best conclusion would be a total death: a body consumed by fire, mangled beyond use, or buried under enough rubble to make retrieval a waste of effort. But with an army of Risen, the enemy had both the energy and the hands to drag the stones away.
My initial reaction is that I like the word 'hammered', as it goes with nails (see my own line edit later... we agreed on something), but it left the 'the' in that sentence, which I feel it could have removed for more power.
Other than that, there are few substantive changes, and it all reads a bit 'samey' in rhythm. I would want sentences to change in length, rhythm, and cadence, and here it is a bit 'da da da da da da', if that makes sense. It is still flat and unremarkable. If I were sent this to edit, I'd be making a lot more changes to bring it to life.
Oh, and only one instance of the em dash. Clearly, Gemini is not as big a fan as ChatGPT!
Is it better? Grammatically, yes. Tonally, no. What do you think?
CLAUDE
Echoes crashed against his skull, driving the sharp nails of fear deep into Haldan's brain.
There was nowhere to run. The cell door was locked and the darkness swallowed his sight. His eyes were open — he could feel himself blink — but they saw, if saw was even the right word, an all-encompassing void.
There was nothing to do but cover his head with his arms and hope it ended soon. Two days already, and it would only stop when the castle fell and all the defenders were dead or fled. Another crash, another echo.
There was little point in prayer, though he heard the others who shared the cell muttering pleas to their gods. Nothing would change, but perhaps it made them feel better — gave them hope that their prayers would be answered.
Maybe they prayed to stay alive, or prayed for it all to be over. The best ending would be a clean death — one where their whole body was consumed by fire, mangled beyond all use, or buried beneath so much rubble that retrieving them would be more trouble than it was worth. Though, with an army of Risen, energy and the hands to drag rocks away would not be in short supply.
Claude tries to give it a little more in that second paragraph with the "if saw was even the right word", doesn't it? It's not good, but it tried!
The first line was left alone, with none of the changes that Gemini or ChatGPT made. We have a couple of em dashes but nothing like the overpowering use by ChatGPT. Again, though, you get the feeling it is all a little flat and uninspiring. If my original writing were edited and sent back like this, I'd be disappointed (very). There are also a few grammatical changes I'd want to make... some commas added or removed (and we all love doing that!).
With all three, I am left with the feeling that the editing needs to bring this scene to life. I want to read some personality and to be intrigued and excited. I am just not.
So, is mine any better? I hope so.
I'll show you the final version and the marked-up edits.
FINAL
Echoes hammered his skull, driving sharp nails of fear deep into Haldan’s brain.
There was nowhere to run. The cell door was locked, and the last of the lantern light fading down the damp corridor beyond had abandoned him to an all-encompassing void. He blinked just to be sure his eyes were open.
With nothing to do, he covered his head with his arms and hoped it would end soon. Biting down on the whimper that threatened to shatter his courage should it escape, he pressed himself into a corner, the scrape of the cold stone on his skin a touch of reality in the darkness. Only when the castle fell, and all its defenders dead, would it end.
Another crash of stone against the castle walls above. Another echo of the end.
He heard the others in the cell mutter pleas to their Gods as the echo faded. Those prayers would go unanswered. The Gods were dead or in hiding. No amount of searching or pleading, no sermon or holy text, no secret knowledge or hidden sect had revealed the Gods to Haldan.
The best to hope for now would be a quick and complete death. A death where his whole body was consumed by fire, mangled beyond all use, or trapped beneath so much rubble that even an army of Risen, endless in energy and single of purpose, would not find him.
As much as he feared death, he feared being returned as Risen even more.
Am I unbiased enough to judge my own editing? Maybe not, but while there are still areas I'd work on, it does, I hope, have more of my 'voice' coming through. I hope that we are in Haldan's head a little more, and that the world-building is teased enough to intrigue the reader.
I suspect that a few out there would have their own tweaks to make, maybe adding or removing a comma or two, changing a word here and there, or a complete sentence. I know that I've broken a grammatical rule or two.
What AI cannot do for editing and writing is duplicate or create that almost undefinable and incredibly important aspect of writing, the author's VOICE.
(L)iterary agent Rachelle Gardner, on her excellent blog, offers the best definition I have found: ‘Voice is not style. It’s not technique. It’s not branding. It’s not a decision to write in first or third person’; in her view, and I agree, ‘Your writer’s voice is the expression of YOU on the page’. Your voice is not ‘you’ trying to sound writerly. Or impressive. Or like any one of a hundred other writers you like and admire, or have been set to emulate for an exercise. It is not a coat ‘you’ slip on when you sit down to write, and take off when ‘you’ get up to do everything else. (https://www.writersandartists.co.uk/advice/voice-0)
Last of all, my line edits as markup. I've attached it here as a picture, but I'll link the file too at the bottom.
There are, as you can see, a lot more changes than in the AI versions, which sought to keep the original words as much as possible. Many more deletions and additions, changes I made and refined, polishing it as much as I could in time for this blog post.
What do you think of AI editing?
Is it something you would want for your own novel, or would you prefer a human to take the trouble to understand your voice, your way of writing, and your novel?
That's a biased question, and I know that, but I think everything I have shown above would back that up?
Let me know what you think in the comments or by getting in touch.
Attached file below:
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